I am not enough
I can not do this without you
I do not know what I am doing
Like a child
I do not know my left from my right
The good from the wrong
My yes from my no
Am I to go
Or am I to stay
Sometimes I hear you
As clear as day
But most times
It is just foggy
This time, it is a feeling
But that is not enough
Why not just tell me what to do
Why is it not made plain
Why can I not see it from afar
Why do we only see in part
Why the options
Why the decisions
Why the indecisions
Why the uncertainties
Can you not just be direct
Tell me clearly
What needs to be done
I want to disobey you like Jonah
I want to question you
I want to ignore you
I want to report you
Shouting from the rooftop
"what the hell is this?"
You say You love me
But only give me snippets of the truth
What am I meant to do with that?
Waiting on you is tough
I am making decisions blindfolded
I am now at a crossroad
I can not afford to make the wrong decision
Hmm...
Actually, says who?
What makes this decision detrimental to your life
Why is this a life-changing decision
Err... let me think...
Because I say so
Because I feel so
Yes...
There are bigger issues in the world right now
And I am completely selfish.
But I want to be
I have not yet matured
I am still a child
Cooing and clinging to Abba
Is that so bad?
In this aspect of my life
I am not that knowledgeable
I am lost
I am not quite ready to give up the childish ways
Is that okay?
Because that is the only way
I can completely trust You
Believing You are guiding me
That I can blindingly trust your instructions
Because this really feels like a loss
I am running to you
Hoping you have got this
Hoping you have got me
Trusting you have got this
Trusting you have got me
Believing you love me
Even though it doesn't feel like it