• Oyin

Uncertainties


I am not enough

I can not do this without you


I do not know what I am doing


Like a child

I do not know my left from my right


The good from the wrong

My yes from my no

Am I to go

Or am I to stay


Sometimes I hear you

As clear as day

But most times

It is just foggy

This time, it is a feeling


But that is not enough


Why not just tell me what to do

Why is it not made plain

Why can I not see it from afar

Why do we only see in part

Why the options

Why the decisions

Why the indecisions

Why the uncertainties


Can you not just be direct

Tell me clearly

What needs to be done


I want to disobey you like Jonah

I want to question you

I want to ignore you

I want to report you


Shouting from the rooftop


"what the hell is this?"


You say You love me

But only give me snippets of the truth

What am I meant to do with that?


Waiting on you is tough

I am making decisions blindfolded


I am now at a crossroad

I can not afford to make the wrong decision


Hmm...


Actually, says who?


What makes this decision detrimental to your life

Why is this a life-changing decision


Err... let me think...


Because I say so

Because I feel so


Yes...

There are bigger issues in the world right now

And I am completely selfish.

But I want to be


I have not yet matured


I am still a child

Cooing and clinging to Abba


Is that so bad?


In this aspect of my life

I am not that knowledgeable

I am lost


I am not quite ready to give up the childish ways


Is that okay?


Because that is the only way

I can completely trust You

Believing You are guiding me

That I can blindingly trust your instructions


Because this really feels like a loss


I am running to you

Hoping you have got this

Hoping you have got me


Trusting you have got this

Trusting you have got me 


Believing you love me

Even though it doesn't feel like it


#staygraced

#begraced






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