I have this issue with keeping my eyes on the road.
It's crazy, but I feel everything that is not of me is better.
I don't know why or where I picked up such a toxic thought and belief but it runs every single part of my life. I am always quick to condemn my church, family, life, and relationships.
Nothing is simply ever good enough.
Hence why the creation of social media is literally the worst thing that ever happened to me.
And it is also one of the things that makes being a Christian so difficult.
It is one thing to not know you are being an ass or, not know how to not be a dumbass.
But it is another to know, I mean to understand, the principles of being Dumb, being an Ass, being a Dumbass and then choosing to just be all 3 at the same time with no control whatsoever.
The frustration of knowing and believing without a shadow of a doubt that you are God's Masterpiece, created to do good works. ( Ephesians 2:10,NLT)
Knowing that the great God that put on this earth will not stop his good works in your life until the day Jesus returns. (Philippians 1:6)
But still acting in a totally different way.
Comparison has always been your major weakness, I stopped taking pictures because of it. I even ended key relationships in my life because I couldn't just stop myself from jealousy, hate and the torment of not being good enough.
It's crazy isn't it, you change your hair, age, job and life as a whole but if your insides are messed up you are going to keep seeing the same bullshit everywhere you go, but in different packaging.
Eve, my prayer this year for you is that you come to terms and accept who you are. Not who you think you should be, but just who you are.
You are on your Road.
You are on your Lane
You are in Purpose
You are in right standing with God.
Don't go looking in Sokoto for what is in your Shokoto.
Believe and know you are right where you need to be.
Yes you were not given the same accolades she got even though you did a better job
Yes you were not blessed with the amazing parent he has even though you are a better child
Yes you do not have the successful relationship they possess even though your 'A' game is mad.
It is easy to say; 'believe and knows you are perfect'
But Eve there is nothing perfect about you. As crazy as it might seem, people also compare themselves to you, wishing they have and had certain things you possess.
So chin up, the thoughts of comparison will come and go. You will remain.
Remind yourself you are right where you need to be. Focus on what you are doing.
Pray for the person you think has it all because in this life we all poo, and all our shit stinks.
Eve, boo, you can not come and go and kill yourself.
Remember to always start from where are you.
Lord, give Eve the strength to trust you in times when all she wants to do is get angry, be bitter and compare herself to others. Give her peace under pressure to know you are her God in all things and all situations. You know all the silly things in her life even this comparison issue that seems to have a hold on her. Remind her to keep her eyes on you. Her creator and helper.